19 posts tagged “heart's desire”

The internet is fixed.  The sink is not. Work was insane tonight, I got out an hour later than anticipated. I feel like bashing my head into wall, I'm so amped up and completely stressed. Just too many things going on, but a calm night at work would have been welcome.  Instead it was just crazy making. So packed I couldn't even have a beer after to calm down. Augh.  Maybe I should go run around the block or something.

If I can get through May, everything will be awesome. Light at the end of the tunnel. Deep breaths.

Things that are good:

• the girls in my household
• planning my Seattle trip
• my little sister coming to visit in July
• spring weather finally consistently perfect
• small presents from friends
• tzatziki
• amusing horoscopes

I saw Iron Man last night with T-Rider.  When Tim asked this morning, is it was awesome?  I said, no, FUCKING AWESOME.  I am however very conflicted about. Mostly because I can't decide if I want and awesome reactor in my chest so I can be a superhero, or if I want to be Pepper Potts, as my ideal job has always been as an assistant some super rich, eccentric person who will appreciate my wide variety of skills. (Hmm, that sounds somehow dirty when I put it on paper, I mean it all quite honestly and cleanly, you perverts.) I can ignore the gross stereotypes of Middle Eastern Terrorists, as it's been a stock cliché in movies for years now, and I don't see railing about it appearing in a delicious ice cream sundae of a movie, such as Iron Man, is going to change anything at all.  Also there were previews for the new Batman movie and the new Indiana Jones.  Hurrah!  Indeed the only thing possibly missing from summer movies this year is Matt Damon. And of course decent rolls for strong, leading female characters, but I don't feel like ranting about that today.  YAY SUPERHEROES!

I have about ten million things to think about right now, and one is moving this blog to a different host, as I need to test a few out and see how they stack up.  I'm thinking Typepad, as I've ruled out Blogspot and Livejournal.  But Wordpress isn't out of the question.  Anyone else have any suggestions?

And saving the bombs for the end: I gave notice at my day job yesterday.  Yes, I recognize that this is risky move in the current economy.  However, it's sucking away all my creative energy and way more time than it should.  Also, while I don't want to publicly say anything too mean, or revealing, I don't expect the organization to continue to sustain itself for much longer, which would put me out of a job anyway. My last day here, I believe, will be May 27, then I am off to Seattle for a fews, and back to start my new life, however it will play out, in Nashville in June. I have a plan, which will surely be adjusted in the coming weeks, and hopefully keep me afloat and happier.

Hi, how are y'all?

I am working, it's boring, easy, addition of long columns of numbers, putting together donation reports from the last three years. Mindless and so I am obsessing over The Time Traveler's Wife while I do it.  I lent my last copy out.  I might seriously have to buy a new one on my way home so I can read it again tonight.  And then in Rhi's blog she was listening to "Propane" which is one of my most favoritist songs ever and somehow in my my mind inexplicably tied to The Time Traveler's Wife (perhaps they stir up the same emotions in me?), so I am sharing the song with you in honor of my current mental obsession.

There's going to be a movie of The Time Traveler's Wife. Coming out this year.  Oh man, I want to read the book again RIGHT NOW.  Forget work. I want to be reading it now now now.  Such a good book. I hope the movie doesn't suck.  Seriously, I am so excited!

Was actually on time for work this morning, even a little early!  However hair not brushed, but in my defense I broke my hair brush this morning (yeah, don't even ask) and if I'd stopped to get one, I'd have been late.  I do need to start getting to bed earlier.  There's just too much to do in each day!  Also, I do need a minder.  You know, not like a babysitter to make sure I don't choke on my toys, but just someone nicely pointing out the time to me and helping to keep me on track.  It's pathetic really.  The busier I get the less I seem to get done because I get so scattered.  Didn't used to be like this, must be old age setting in.  Speaking of, birthday countdown is at 35 days.

It is COLD today.  Come on March, you are almost done, go out like a lion!  Shake off the cold and get with the fabulous parts of spring.

How is it that I can go to Walgreens, or CVS or whatever, to get tampons or kleenex and a new toothbrush, and I come out $40 lighter?  I know it's my own insanity.  I'll be walking through thinking, "I've got great black mascara, and that brown is pretty good, but I hate the brush on the brown-black one."  And suddenly I'm spending 15 minutes in the make up aisle contemplating different brands of mascara before wandering off to find some shampoo that seemed promising from the commercial.  *sigh* Consumer hell.  I really need to go on a 60 day no buying anything but food cleansing.  Hmm, maybe starting in April.  As I was walking to and from Walgreens, I was cracking up over this.

I came home last night, exhausted, super cranky and starving only to discover that the internet and the cable were out and there was no food in the house. Ugh.  Fortunately Holly came home not long after and rescued me by going to get Mediterranean food and listen to me complain endlessly about Comcast.  (Love calling them because invariably it's, "yes, there have been outages reported in your neighborhood." Well fucking great, what are you doing about it?)

The only bright spot in my day is work tonight. I mean I don't even want to go, Painful Sets Tuesday, whooo, but hey, Kristen is probably working and that always the best part of my week. Well except for maybe when Jami comes by unexpectedly and entertains me when I'm doing something I'd rather be procrastinating on.  And new shoes would be awesome, but I don't have any money, so I'll have to settle for Kristen.  Not that it's settling, but, um, yeah, I'll just stop now.  Is it lunch time yet? Oh, it is? Woo!

I hate all my shirts today.  I think it might be time to rotate out whatever I deemed spring clothes last year and put in storage.  I don't even care about being cold any more, I just can't stand any of these sweaters and misshapen long sleeve tees.  I want cute shirts, damn it.  And sandals, but I can hold out another month or so for those.

So the weekend wasn't a complete loss.  I did get all my laundry done. I watched several crappy movies on Lifetime.  I cleaned the dining room.  AND, hah hah! I got the new bits of jewelry uploaded over at my Etsy shop.  This time it's Barcelona, guitars, mandolins, strawberries and other fruit.  I'm gleefully excited about these.  I think the next bunch will be in a similar vein, and then I have some other obscurities in mind for the future. Nw if only the actual warm part of spring would arrive, so I could do the toxic resin casting outside.

Things concerning me right now:

• can I wear yellow?
• should I take the freeway or go through town to run my errands today?
• if I can ever find a decent fitting pair of jeans, should I buy half a dozens pairs of them and be done with?
• will it ever stop snowing?
• why is my tattoo so incredibly, grossly scabby on the tender inside of my arm?
• what if spring never, ever comes?
• does anyone actually listen to Radiohead? Why?

Things I have recently learned:

• if one gets epoxy in their hair, and doesn't notice until it's set, it's probably best to just cut it out, instead of trying to comb through it
• tattoos hurt. I always forget.
• I hate all my shoes
• I can't really wear bright red

Things I want:

• new jeans
• new shoes
• a pedicure
• a massage
• a 26 year old lover who looks like Brad Pitt.  Though I guess I'd settle for Joaquin Phoenix or Matt Damon

Ugh.  Reading this makes me feel shallower than I know I am.  Does it matter that when I can't sleep I read Rilke? Ha! Didn't think so.

I listened to this entire interview with Congressman Patrick Murphy (D, PA) this morning. Man, forget Obama, he's all idealistic and great speaker and all, but where are all the politicians like Murphy?  If guys like this were running the country I'd feel so much more proud.  Plus don't you just want to pinch his little cheeks?

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I just realized that I need to call and confirm my tattoo appointment for Saturday, which made me realize, secondarily, holy shit, new tattoo! On Saturday!  I'm glad I was able to forget it.  The anticipation always kills me.  Of couse now I am totally obsessing about it and there's still DAYS to wait.  *sigh*   (AHAHAHAHA!  Just as I was typing this Pandora gave me Lucero's "All Sewn Up (in Bad Tattoos)".)

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In a conversation this morning, I said, "I need a huge lump of cash so I can make my whole work wardrobe 'sexy librarian' and keep the casual wear at 'cowgirl.'"  I amuse myself so much.  But really, I think this a great idea.  This concept brought to you by today's out fit: pointy, pointy black heels, dark blue trousers, white blouse, floral cardigan in two shades of blue, hair in a bun, minimal make-up. Mmmmm, librarian sexy.

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If I has a choice, I'd vote for no more temperatures below 40°F.  I am so tired of being cold. I can't seem to spend enough time complaining about how spring isn't arriving early.

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I can't decide if I should just my lunch now, or eat a bunch of Girl Scout cookies and save lunch for later.  I'm not even sure I'm hungry exactly.  Just bored.

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I just noticed that my hideous coworker has a 16 oz pump bottle of hand sanitizer on his desk.  Yikes.  I maintain that hand sanitizer is only for when you do not have access to soap and water.  Needing a huge bottle of it on your desk in a building with functioning plumbing? A definite sign of serious issues.

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Every section in this post starts with "i" except this one.

I am at work listening to Swinging Doors.  I am so ready for today to be OVER! At least the work part of it.  I have errands to run and my own work to do and while I know I should be focused on the job I am here being paid to do, I just simply am not.

Weekend was okay.  I was still sick for a good portion of it (and am still so, though it's just congestion now, without other symptoms, except maybe exhaustion).  I did get a lot done, I guess, though not as much as I'd hoped.  Perhaps I always have unreal expectations for the amount of work I can do?  I don't know, I do know I fucked around a bunch this weekend, and thus could conceivably have done more that wasn't fucking off.  

I did rewatch The Bourne Identity while I half-assedly cleaned the living room and put away some of my endless messy pile of craft-related things. The important question this movie has left lingering in me is, why doesn't Jason Bourne make out with me?  Good god, the man's arms are incredible. That scene where he and Marie get it on, and she sort of won't let him pass until he kisses her, and reaches up and cups her face and then she pulls off his shirt? Holy, good hotness, Batman. I felt like I might die from the heat rising in my face just from remembering it.  I think tonight I will watch The Bourne Supremacy, and then maybe The Bourne Ultimatum later this week.  I haven't seen the 3rd one yet, though I have high expectations, as my mom loved it, so I probably will too.  Still I remain disappointed that Matt Damon has never approched me at a low point in my life and offered me thousands of dollars to help him escape assassins. It's just proof that my life could be better than it is.

I look cute today: black knee-high boots, pleated wool skirt in cream and burgundy herringbone, white top, burgundy corduroy western jacket. My hair is fabulous and I think the outfit distracts from the dry, red, yuckiness that is my nose.

I'm sure I could find some more pointlessness to ramble on about, but I guess I should stop boring myself and go do some work.